TITLE: If Only I… BY: nychen EMAIL: nychen@gatech.edu WEBSITE: http://nychen.com/xf/ CATEGORY: x-files || angst || scully-torture RATING: R || violence SUMMARY: an obsession with beauty goes out of control. SPOILERS: none DISCLAIMER: i don't own anything except story ARCHIVE: post anywhere just remember to give me credit and links WRITTEN: 06.15.00 LAST UPDATED: 03.04.02 [ IF ONLY I… // Part 1 of 1 ] ======= Part 01 ======= It was midnight when the woman arrived home. The darkness outside was more than she could hide from, but it was only night time that the woman had time to do her deeds. Her deeds often involved the treacherous, the dangerous and the murderous. She often felt feels of self doubt and self hatred. She often took these feelings and blamed others, because inside her was a rage that needed to be confronted with. Because inside her was a rage that stirred for years, since her childhood, since her last memory of that day. The door knob turned slowly, and the door received a push and creaked open. The woman entered. Her left arm reached out and her hand flicked the light switch on. In the dim light bulb, her complexion was of a chiseled jawbone. There seemed to be shadowed beneath her eyes, or maybe it was the mascara. Her hair was a flush color of ash brown and golden blonde, cut trim to a V shaped chin. Her eyes glistened by the light bulb as the woman took off her jacket and hung it upon the back of the chair. The jacket pocket was opened, and the woman pulled out a package of glass viles. This would be her third purchase this month. For her third victim. ======= Part 02 ======= Lily sat down at the table. She took in a deep breath and relaxed, leaning back on the chair. She wondered if maybe life would be different if she were different. But she knew life would have always been this way, because her god let her down. And she knew god meant for her to be ugly. She sighed and quickly cleared her mind of such thoughts. No thoughts, no guilts. No different. Her broad knuckled fingers grasped the package and ripped it open, letting 5 small viles roll on top of the dresser. She then picked up one of the viles and popped open its stopper, and emptied the fluid into a small cup. Her fingers gingerly lifted the cup and poured its contents into a gun - a needle gun. Lily's eyes stared at the fluid meter; it indicated the gun was full and was ready to be used. Her eyes wandered around the room as she used one hand to drop the empty vile onto the floor and the other to pick up the gun. "Tonight, beauty is mine." ======= Part 03 ======= The moon was a quarter full tonight. Its reluctant brightness reflected in the mirror on the wall. Then a shadow blocked the light. A woman's shadow stood by the dresser, and edged hovering over the bed. Her arms came to her sides and gripped the gun tightly. The girl in the bed moaned. Her head was pounding and her body ached with soreness. The drug was too powerful, and it drowsed her into unconsciousness when it took its full effect. Her eyes began to open slightly when last she felt someone's fingers grasp her arm and heard the shot. The sound of a gun. Lily stood up straight. Her face bore an expression of disgust at the girl laid before her. A young girl, whose beauty captured many. A model of what Lily hated most. A model of what Lily never had. She smiled a bit, happy to end the night early. There was more to deal with in the morning. Right now, she just wanted to take a nice hot bath, alone. Her arm carefully placed the gun on top of the dresser next to the bed. And it raised upward, and with a slight movement of fingers, turned the light off. Darkness enveloped the room, and a shadow was seen crossing the room. Its heavy figure walked into the bathroom, and silently stood in front of the mirror. The placement of the mirror reflect back Lily's entire head and shoulders. The green blue eyes looked sadly upon the image, and saw imperfections. Imperfections of the face. Imperfections of the body. Imperfections of an image needing improvements. She lifted her hand, and used her left hand to run her fingers along the scar. She flinched slightly, not out of fright or unfamiliarity, but out of disgust. Disgust for herself. "I look beau - ti - ful." Lily tried to smile, but she couldn't. She refused, and the anger built inside her, and it dug deep into the pains in her heart. She couldn't lie to herself anymore. She had tried, but she failed. Frustration got the best of her, and her broad fingers formed a fist and slammed against the mirror. The mirror was intact, only damaged with a ring of circles in a million pieces. Her complexion was distorted and no longer visibly clear. She brought her hand down and stared at it. Tiny pieces of glass glittered in the light. Drops of blood dripped into the sink. She blinked. Then a giggle was heard. And it rang throughout the dark empty house. The girl was immobile and unable to escape the sound of laughter. The girl was doomed. ======= Part 04 ======= "Scully?" "I'm fine, Mulder." The two eyed each other for a few seconds. Silence. Inevitable silence. The man sat down in the chair, slumping into a comfortable position. The woman still stood a distance away. Both partners were tired of the case. "Scully, I understand that last crime scene is only a few blocks from your house. I just wanted to give your precautions...It's likely she's targeting woman in their prime ages, and you're included." "I'm not that young, Mulder, even if I may look it," Scully grinned. Mulder smiled. "Ok, but you should be on the lookout of a danger looking King - Kong size of a woman who preys on beautiful women working in the FBI." "Thanks for the warning." "Anytime...Now let's get busy with this case. I've got a meeting to interview her step - sister, and I'll call you for the autopsy reports, okay?" Mulder muttered as he snagged his jacket and neared the basement door. The words were barely on the tips of her tongue as Mulder shut the door behind him. "Bye." Scully stood with the files in her hand, and arched an eye and smiled slightly. ======= Part 05 ======= The scalpel settled quietly into the pan as Scully was ready to retire from the autopsy. The body was one belonging to a 22 year old girl. Her body was found near a dumpster outside of city limits. Her physical appearance was drastically different from a picture attained from the girl's mother. The girl's hair was mangled and dirtied in mud. Her face was swollen and bruised, and there were deep cuts all over the body. On the arms, the legs and even the back were slashes made by some sort of broken glass, for there were pieces of glass discovered meddled in the skin. Scully took off her autopsy garments, and pulled the scrunchie off, letting loose her hair which flowed down just barely below her ears. She took in a deep breath and sighed, such an tough examination of the body brought her to an exhaustive lapse. The hours had passed by quickly, and fascination with the case grew. Scully privately wondered how such a beautiful girl could end up so disfigured. And how such things could happen. Another deep sigh came about as Scully put on her overcoat and neared the bathroom sink to wash her hands. She still felt a bit dirty touching the garments, gloves and goggles. She leaned over on the counter and turned the faucet knob on, and water began to pour. A smile edged on Scully's lips as her hands went underneath the rushing water and her right hand reached out for the soap, then a shadow was cast on the floor. A gun was pulled from a jacket and placed instantly on the tiny woman's back. To her surprise, Scully turned her head, but her legs had already gave way to "poison." "Mulder?..." Scully's ear rang of the sound of a needle gun pressuring its contents into her blood, and she collapsed onto the floor, her left arm still hanging onto the edge of the counter, trying to hold on. But the world before her dimmed from white light to grey blurs and then to blackness. Her fingers slowly lost its grip and fell to her side, and with a soft murmur, Scully was unconscious. "Beautiful." Lily calmly kneeled besides the red haired woman, gently reached to caress the hair, and leaned closer to smell it. The scent was endearing. She slipped the gun into her pocket, and picked up the slender woman before her. Within minutes, there was no trace left of her appearance. Except for the running water. As the heavy figure laid the slender woman into the back seat of her car, a ringing noise came about. It frightened Lily, who looked about and searched the body until she found the cause. A phone. It was most likely her victim's partner. A handsome man whom Lily saw when checking last she preyed and spotted his partner. Lily had taken notice to the man, his tall figure and broad shoulders. He was a perfect match for her, not the woman he was paired with. She was his complete opposite, short and slender. It wasn't the red head he wanted, it was her, the ash brown. And Lily knew how to make him desire her. The plan was already in action. And Lily was eager to rid of beauty laid before her. The phone kept ringing, but Lily didn't answer. Perhaps the empty response would lead the man to her, instead of her leading the man. She picked up the phone, lifted it into the air, and looked down at the woman before her. In the sun, the woman's hair was shining brightly, lustrously. Too lustrously. Lily furrowed her brows in disgust. She spit on the woman's face, the saliva dripped down the woman's pink cheek. Then in hatred, she brought down the phone edge and slammed it on top of the woman's head. "I feel better." She then casually threw the phone onto the woman's chest, forgetting all about it. Lily opened the driver's side door and got in. Stomping on the pedals, the car rushed forward toward its destination. Marlene's house. In the back, the fresh cut began to bleed. The blood dripped down the woman's right cheek and mixed with the saliva. Scully was still unconscious. ======= Part 06 ======= He leaned against the wall and reached his hand inside his jacket pocket, and took out his cellular. He quickly dialed Scully's number and waited patiently for her to answer. The interview had gone well. The woman claimed herself to be the prime - suspect's step - sister, Marlene Whistling. She definitely peculiar with what she said and didn't say about Lily. When asked of her relationship with Lily, Marlene whispered her answer, that their relationship was no deeper than between a "man and his dog" - Lily being the man. Marlene had said Lily always took charge of situations, like the time they were stranded on a roadside with a flat tire. Lily had taken off her blouse and walked off into the street to "attract" some attention, and get some help. Luckily someone did stop, a woman, but nonetheless, they were no longer stranded. There wasn't much said about her childhood, since Lily never did share her's publicly. Marlene said maybe it was because Lily didn't want pity, but Marlene told Mulder she believed her sister never wanted to relive the past by bringing it up. With her last words, Marlene told Mulder a truth about her step - sister. "She's done evil in her life, she just doesn't know it." With those last words, Marlene slammed the door on Mulder. The phone rang and rang, but there was no answer. Strange since he knew Scully always answered on the first ring. Maybe she was still busy with the autopsy, best to drive and stop by to see how she's doing. Flipping the phone to a close, Mulder stuffed it into his trenchcoat and took out his car keys. Settling into the car, Mulder sighed. He hoped Scully would be done with the autopsy, so he could compare notes. Clearing his thoughts, Mulder started the engine and stepped on the accelerator. The car screeched out of the trailer park, and revamped onto the incoming traffic. From afar, the curtains were pushed aside, and Marlene stared at the Agent. Maybe she didn't give too much away. Maybe she gave Lily enough time to do her deed. Maybe the man believed what she had said. ======= Part 07 ======= It was late evening as the sun began to set. The sky bore a crimson and purplish color. 02/15/98 12.00am [ END ] [ IF ONLY I… // Part 1 of 1 END ]